Looking for More?

     I was reading an introduction to a new Bible study and at the end the author noted, "Looking for more?" In the "Looking for More?" section, there were additional videos and an app that readers could go to for "a bit more." It occurred to me that lately, I have wanted, "a bit more." 

    Yet, when my husband asked me yesterday, "What do you want for your birthday?" I couldn't think of a thing. I joking replied, "World peace" and he responded, "Done." I said, "Wow, if I knew it was that easy I would have asked much sooner!" But truly I didn't know what I wanted for my birthday as I feel blessed to have all I need. Today it occurred to me that I could use a bit more peace, in my personal life. 

    As a caregiver for my 92 year old mother, I had no idea the mental energy it would take to care for an elderly adult human. Keep in mind, I'm no longer a youngster myself, so that must be factored in. I don't have the physical strength, mental acuity, or patience that helped me push through problems in my past. This caregiving business is causing me to feel physically and mentally weary. 

    My husband and I have lost our freedom to travel or even go away on a weekend. We are anchored to our home and mainly go out individually. A few short trips here or there together, but not at mealtimes, as she needs her meals provided among other things. So I struggle with looking for more, more and more lately. 

    As I have prayed about this battle with contentment and loss of freedom, God has given me a few reminders. First, we are to care for widows (James 1:27 NIV). Next, He reminded me that she cared for me for 18 years with few, if any, complaints. Finally, God reminded me that He is my calm in the storm and my cover of protection is under His wings (Ruth 2:12). I need to focus on Him and not on my circumstances. The visual I got in my mind's eye was that of a tornado and how all the dirt and debris whirls around the outside, but inside the actual tornado is a calm that is safe, which is where I need to stay right now. 

    Another area of my life that has been causing me to look for more is the world news. There's so much chaos and turmoil. I am a problem solver and the news causes my mind to swirl with ideas on how to fix this and that and pretty soon, I'm spent. Lying in bed one night, unable to sleep, God reminded me that He is in control of the world. That He never wanted us, humans, to know about all the evil being done all over the world, but now with the internet, we see much more evil than we can handle. He reminded me to handle my little corner of the world, my circle of influence, whether family or friends, neighbors or coworkers, those near to me. He will deal with the rest of the world, according to His plan. I don't need to look around for anything more, I just need to focus on Jesus, the Messiah. He is where my peace comes from in any and all storms (Hebrews 13:20-21).

James 1:27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.