Star-fish

     Lately I can't seem to shake the feeling that my last nerve is about to snap. I've been seeking God's guidance in this matter, for the sake of myself and all those in close proximity to me. Many of the things I know will work to lift this dark cloud, I can't make myself do. When I sit down to read scripture my mind spins and wanders, when I consider exercise I get about a 15 minute walk in and I'm done.  The internet says to "eat right" and change your attitude, even the thought of "dieting" leads directly to chocolate chip cookies with a side of gummy bears.      So I decided to just "be still" and listen to God. I put the brakes on random thoughts that paraded in and tried to ignore my dog who was pawing at my arm to get up on my lap. (She rarely does this, why now?) God was quick as He knows my attention span, I felt Him reminding me that my mind is very active and always has been.  When I leave it to its own devises it gets bu...

     I read a study one time that said most people have the need to feel significant. They want to leave their mark, make a difference in the lives of those around them. I believe that is true. So then how do we know if what we are doing is making a difference?      As a public school teacher I used to struggle with the fact that I couldn't speak about God in the classroom. I wondered if my teaching was important if I couldn't lead kids to salvation. But after a few years of teaching, I realized actions speak louder than words. And kids are very observant.      God will use me wherever I land, even if the land denies His existence, it doesn't stop Him from showing up and making a difference:) Time invested in the life of a child is never wasted. Matthew 19:14  Jesus said,  “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs  to such as these.”

      A friend emailed me today trying to help me figure out some dates on a surprise birthday party for a mutual friend. She wrote in the email, "I’m old and I’m confused and that is dangerous." I chuckled to myself and shared with her what I had just done at the store, speaking of old and confused. I started to give the cashier at Sprouts my driver's license rather than my credit card and only noticed my mistake as I was struggling to get my license out of the little clear compartment in my wallet. Once I noticed my mistake, I reached for my Safeway card!      When you are young, you don't realize that later in life hormones, or lack there of, plus inflammation of joints, muscle weakness, loss of eyesight and hearing, etc. change the way you live your life. You also lose patience with elders that seem slow and unresponsive, but believe me when I say, "They'd love to be able to do things as easily and as quickly as they did when they were your age." ...

     As I was reading today in my study guide, Living Free by Beth Moore, she hit on a subject close to my heart, pride. Beth asked three poignant questions on pages 49-51: 1. If God reveals Himself through His glory, what would be the primary obstacle to my glorifying Him? 2. Can you even conceive of a conflict between people that is not pride-based? 3. How could God's demand to be the focus of glory be in our best interest? She also noted the following, "...pride is Satan's specialty...It wrecks lives and destroys relationships."      I couldn't agree more, as I've done my share of wrecking relationships with pride than in any other way. Because frankly, I wanted my way. Let me tell you from experience, the saying, "My way or the highway," can lead to a very long and lonely road.      When I glorify myself, (which by the way, the world would love to convince me is the right way), I take my eyes off of God and put them on me. (The fo...

     Today as I was reading Isaiah chapter 6 it spoke to me in a new way. I had read it before, sections of it were even underlined in red no less. But the wonderful thing about the Word of God is that although it never changes, and the God who wrote it is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow...I change and I require different guidance from another perspective, another angle and God's Word does just that for me.      The chapter speaks of a vision Isaiah has of "the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple" (Is. 6:1). As he goes on to describe seraphs calling out, "Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory" (Is. 6:3),  Isaiah realizes his humanness and cries out about being "a man of unclean lips"(Is. 6:5). One of the seraphs flys over to him with a live coal and touch it to Isaiah's lips and tells him, "your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for" (Is...

      Can I be honest with you? I don't like change. I logged onto my blog today and my template had gone black! The company that I got the background from had changed its format! I couldn't figure it out so I'm just using a basic one until I can muster the patience to relearn the new page layout.      Speaking of change, earlier today I went to an appointment and my regular gal was still not back. I asked the woman, "What's up with the change in office staff?" This woman tells me about offices closing, people losing their jobs, etc. So now I'm feeling quite petty about being a bit put-out, so I begin to chat about my flaws, one of which is a low tolerance for pain, and the conversation unfolds from there.      This woman tells me she lost her four year old son the year before and her marriage is falling apart. I was able to share that my parents lost my brother at age sixteen and how it put a stain on their marriage, but that the...

     Today I can relate to the saying, "My get up and go, got up and went!" Plopped in my computer chair, I browse a column, "Strange But True" in the West Valley Star magazine by Samantha Weaver. She notes that, "If you were like the average rabbit, you would take 18 naps every day." Well, call me a rabbit, is all I can say!      Weaver's factoid about a single queen bee laying 3,000 eggs all in one day left me thinking, "Queen for the Day holds a whole different meaning in the bee world." I felt a bit like a Queen for the Day today though, no, nothing regarding eggs, simply that my husband met me at the pool this morning with a special gift...one of those thick foam flotation devices that you can lay out flat on and sunbathe. Out of the blue, he picked this up for me, no birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, just because he loves me and wants me to have something to relax on while in the pool.      That's what I have to continue to rem...

     I want to thank all of you for reading my blog. Today I am celebrating creating 300+ blog entries and having 3000+ visits to my site! I pray you are being blessed by my brief daily journals and photos. I ask God each day what each of you might need to hear and pray that you will choose Him as your Lord and Savior. If you are already saved for eternity by the grace and mercy of God, I pray that He supports and edifies you further with the words in this blog.      As our world closes in on us through social media, we can engage in communication that lifts and encourages or we can choose to support cheap voyeurism, that while it entertains momentary, it doesn't do the viewer or the doer any good. For the sake of money, advertising, or thrill seeking some are putting themselves, others and the environment in harm's way.      I'm going to work more and more each day to spend more time in the Word of God. In so doing, I can become increasing...

     In reading scripture this morning it occurred to me that all my doing, may not be doing what God wants me to do! The verses that really spoke to me were in the book of John when the crowds were trying to find Jesus and his disciples.  After finding Jesus in Capernaum, they ask in John 6:28-29, "What must we do to do the works God requires?" Jesus answered, "The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent."      I am always wondering if I'm working at the right things to do my work for God. Jesus makes it clear that simply by believing in Him, my work is done. The point is not me, but rather that I always point to Jesus in whatever I do. There's freedom in faith that doesn't required me to do something to believe, but rather I believe in Jesus who already did it all on the cross for me.      I love how Beth Moore speaks to this matter of faith in her study guide, Living Free on page 41, "Christ is fully God. He can...

     The other day as I was feeling disgruntled about cleaning my house as a thought occurred to me, "You know a homeless person would love to have a house to clean." Hum...then other thoughts followed: A widow would love to have her husband around... A starving person would love to have the food I didn't like... A quadriplegic would love to have the aching knee I'm fussing about... A woman living in poverty would love to have the bedroom curtains I complain about... And on, and on my thoughts raced.      Oh, how I murmur and complain! I'm sick of hearing myself! I can't imagine what others are thinking. God speaks about those that complain and murmur and it's not good. (See some scriptures below.*)      I want the fruit of my life not to be bitter and unpalatable. I want to produce fruit that blesses and encourages. Fruit that draws others nearer to their Maker and God. I am known by my fruit, what I produce in life. I've been growin...

     While at the store today I peered down at rows of skin creams promising to tighten, lighten and otherwise brighten old and wrinkled skin. I turned 50 this year and all seems to be downhill from here as far as outward appearances. It's interesting that the Bible even speaks of this dilemma in 2 Corinthians 4:16-18, but these scriptures carry more hope than any number of expensive skin care products:      Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.  The blessings of youth, no worries about tummy fat or wrinkles. Matthew 6:34  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. ...

     I've been working on memorizing the books of the Bible and scripture verses. Honestly, it all began when I read an article about dementia and how memorizing helps stave off memory loss. The article also said playing games and doing puzzles helps as well. I didn't want to add any more trivial pursuits into my life, so it seemed a good time to buckle down and memorize the Word of God.      I have a friend, Bobbie, who is able to interject scripture at just the appropriate time into conversations and it's so edifying. I've been studying for a week and have three scriptures and 15 books memorized. At first I didn't think it was going to work, as I don't have much of a mind for memorizing, but today seemed to be a break-through day and God showed me it can be done and it's fun.      God confirmed my new endeavor while reading  Our Daily Bread for June 18, 2012:       The Word of God is "living and powerful" (Heb. 4:12...

     Out of the blue a former teacher of mine (I was a school principal) sent me a note and a cute business size card that was adorned with sunflowers and a cute coffee cup (had me at coffee). The card noted the following:       Hello. This is God. I will be handling all of your problems and concerns today. That's my job.       Your job is to give them to me, and then to trust me.       Have a great day!      Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with  thanksgiving, present your requests to God.       This unexpected note and card struck me right in the heart as I was struggling to give my concerns over to God and even when I thought I had released my cares to Him, I struggled to believe He would do anything about them. My reading today in Beth Moore's study guide, Living Free , shines a little more light on this subje...

     I talked to my dad today on the phone and he was outside cooking pork chops. He loves to cook and to eat. I inherited both of these traits:) My dad's father owned his own restaurants, my dad's two brothers both had restaurants, my dad's half-sister and his cousin both still own restaurants. It's a food family! In fact, my dad taught my mom how to cook when they were first married (which will be 60 years ago in September).      I was blessed to be raised by a father with integrity and work ethic. I remember complaining to my dad in my teens about my job and my dad turning to me and replying, "If you don't want to do the work then don't take the paycheck." He gave me advice later in my life that helped me through a rocky time in my marriage. Thanks dad for being a solid, respectable, responsible and caring role model in my life. I love you!      To my Father God, thank you for changing my life completely. I was lost and you found me. I w...

     This morning started at 6:15AM. I turned on the oven, retrieved the casserole I made at 9:00PM last night from the refrigerator and popped it into the oven. No need for a timer as it would be ready just in time for me to put it in the truck along with a fruit salad and nut bread that I was taking to a women's church breakfast. At 7:30AM I checked the egg casserole and it looked as if I had forgotten to turn the oven on! Panic began to rise in my throat as my husband called out, always sensing my near meltdown moments, "Is there anything I can do?"      I left to pick up my friend, Bobbie, and the coffee that Wildflower Bread Company had generously donated to our breakfast. I left the raw in the middle dish to bake a bit longer while I finished these errands. My friend called my husband as we left the restaurant and arranged our trade off of vehicles and food stuffs in the driveway.      The food and coffee were due at the event by 8:30...

          I've heard over the years that after you've had a "mountain top" experience with the Lord, you may end up with whiplash while descending and running squarely into reality. Although my situation is nothing as grand as Moses 40 days and 40 nights with God (Ex. 24:15-18), I spent ten days in Israel and was deeply touched by the history and architecture that remains from the time of Christ.      After talking to my friend, Bobbie about the trip, and explaining my trying experience at the airport on the way home, I realized that Satan had stepped in to squash my joy and I had let him. Since the trip I have struggled to recover my joy, so I've been praying to get a grip and move on. Last night at about 3:00AM, the time the Lord usually visits with me as He knows I'm too tired to do anything but listen, the Lord seemed to answer my pray. What came into my thoughts was that joy is a choice that is made daily, not based upon my feelings, b...

     As I walked my cocker spaniel this morning, she spied a cottontail rabbit and a momma quail with a couple of babies. She stopped in her hurried tracks with ears perked and breathing quieted, she stared. I stood still too, holding tightly to her leash. I enjoy watching these moments to see who will break first, the predator or the prey. As usual the rabbit shot off, dispersing the quail family and my dog jerked at her leash to break free.      For a number of reasons I did not let her loose to chase the rabbit. First of all, there are rules in our development about dogs needing to be on leashes. Secondly, she doesn't need the animals for food. She has fresh water and kibbles provided daily. Lastly, if I were to let her off her leash to run after every fleeing wild thing, I'd likely lose my domesticated pet to the desert or a car tire.      This is the same thing I see God doing in my life. I pray regularly that he will, as my girlf...

     There was a contest advertised in the grocery section of the newspaper about including both Pepsi and Frito-Lay products into a photo and then emailing the picture in to win prizes. Well, I drug all this stuff out to the pool and took photos from different angles and moved stuff around to get the best shots with the best lighting. After all this, I wasn't able to get through to the website entry section. It said I already had a password, which I did not, so I couldn't gain entrance to the portal to upload my photo. I was disappointed, but it was momentary.      It made me grateful that entrance into heaven doesn't require secret passwords or multiple steps to gain access to our heavenly portal. Isn't it amazing that eternal life with Jesus Christ in heaven is easier to acquire than an upload on a junk food website? It's this simple: ask Jesus Christ, God's Son, to come into your life and become your Lord and Savior. He will and you will enjoy a much s...

     My grandmother died twelve years ago, today is her birthday. Grandma T was a woman before her time. She was born in 1906. As a young woman, she loved sports and dancing (which was strictly forbidden at the time by the Methodist church). She and grandpa raised five children and had many grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Yet when I sat with her, she never seemed hurried or too busy to talk.      She loved her family and God. She spent more time at church then any other place besides home. When holidays or birthdays came around, Grandma T made sure everyone was invited and included in the celebrations which always included dessert. She loved her sweets! I made a lemon cake with pink lemonade frosting today. I only wish grandma was here to enjoy it.      Grandma played the piano, taught lessons and even tried to teach me, but I wouldn't practice:( She loved to sew, even tried to teach me, but I didn't have the patience for tearing out...

     To repent in the Greek is m etanoia, primarily an after-thought, different from the former thought; a change of mind accompanied by regret and change of conduct, "change of mind and heart", or, "change of consciousness" (Wikipedia). As I read Beth Moore's, Living Free, Bible study today I was struck by the thought that there must be a turning point in the Christian walk where we go from believing and being in God's Word to knowing and doing God's Word for His glory. Part of our repentance, as we become new believers, is to acknowledge that we have had a change of heart and mind, that we no longer want to live as we did before. We now want to put our faith in Christ Jesus rather than in ourselves or in the world.       Moore asked the following questions that made me ponder my own walk and maturity in Christ: What would your life be like if you totally believed God? How would life be different if your greatest desire became to glorify God? W...

     I am easily distracted. My attention span is short. I've been praying lately to keep my focus on Christ. You can imagine my surprise when today as I opened my Beth Moore's study guide and read the chapter title, "Keep Your Focus." She starts out by writing on pages 22-23:       I have a wonderful and terrible truth for you. We become like the object of our focus. If our focus is on our needs, we become more needy. If our focus is on the harm others have done to us, we become harmful and angry people. If our focus is on material things, we become grasping and greedy. And, praise God, if our focus is on Christ, we become more and more like Him...      We can easily drift from a pure focus on Jesus. Two of the easiest ways are to become focused on the problems of others or to focus on Satan himself. Sometimes Satan successfully schemes to keep us in bondage by fueling our focus on others' strongholds rather than on our own...I am convince...

      One thing that gets the most protection in sports is the athlete's head. If we "lose our heads," all is lost. The Bible tells us that we should put on the "full armor of God" which includes the helmet of salvation and our only offensive weapon, "the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God." Of course, the key here is that without salvation, believing not just that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, but in faith requesting Him to come into our minds, bodies, souls and spirits and make us new people in Him; we have no protection over our heads.       Second Corinthians 10:5 notes that we are to, "take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." If our heads and minds are not first protected by the indwelling of the Holy Spirit through salvation; then all our efforts to overcome strongholds in our lives will be done in our weakness and not in the power of our Almighty God.  We aren't prepared for the game of life wi...

     This summer I'm reading the Beth Moore Bible study called Living Free. Today's blog is an excerpt from her study on page 14. It is such a good reminder that my thoughts aren't God's thoughts and visa versa:       A precious friend came through a time of disobedience, conviction, and repentance. She experienced both genuine brokenness and satanic accusation. After many weeks of deep depression she told me: "I thought I couldn't come to God with this sin in my life. I thought I had to get myself out of the situation before God would have anything to do with me. I didn't feel that He could love me because of what I had done."...She fell for the fundamental belief of all pharisees--that God's love is based on our performance. On the contrary, God most wants us to come into His presence in the middle of our times of defeat.      We continue to believe that God loves conditionally. We cannot believe He operates differently than we do...Isaia...

     From the stories I remember hearing about my youth, I was a willful child. Around two years old, I crawled up a ladder onto the roof of our trailer. My parents were looking for me when they heard the pitter-patter of tiny footsteps over their heads! Consequently, I also broke my femur at two years old running down a hill at a cemetery (my parents were putting flowers on the graves of loved ones) and I tripped over a tree stump.      I really have not changed much, except for the changes God has made in me since I became a Christian and gave my life and my will over to Him. Who knows where I'd be (if I'd be alive at all) or what I'd be doing with my life had I not been asked by a coworker if I wanted to go to church with her. That was the beginning of a journey that has evolved over the last 25 years. Am I perfect? Not in the least, but am I grateful to God for accepting me into His royal family and allowing me to mess up under His protection and provi...

     I was pondering what to study in the Word this summer, since I'm not in any particular Bible studies, and the issue of fear came to my mind. My dog is so fearful. She notices every change in her environment, jumps at any new noises and tries to fight off the other dogs on our walks before they can get to her. As I struggled to figure out how to help her with her fears, I realized that I do the same things! I don't like to be out of control in my environment; strange noises, when I'm alone, cause me to freeze; and I try to avoid situations where, I think, I might be embarrassed or hurt whether physically or emotionally.      So as I pondered this problem, it made me consider how often I say to my dog, "It's OK, you're alright." Yet, I ignore that God has said this same thing to me over and over throughout my life. He's been  my stronghold and high tower. He's lifted me up and kept me from being blown away by strong winds or rough waters. He...

     Today I sat on the patio eating cookies and milk with my dog, when my husband brought me a twig off our lemon tree. The fragrance was a mixture of citrus and spice...wonderful! I told him it reminded me of when I heard someone say (don't recall who) that we can't truly have the fragrance of Christ until we have been broken. The same is true for many spices, until you shave off the rough exterior or crush the woody stems, these plants are nearly useless for their function in cooking and baking.      The idea of being broken, shaved or crushed doesn't sound too appealing to me. Yet looking back over my life, those times when I have been broken have produced the most fruit for Christ. Those difficult times were also the most life changing for me as well as others around me. How will I respond the next time I am crushed...stinky or fragrant? Will my actions draw people toward Christ or send them fleeing? Spices in an open air market in Spain, now that...

      One of my favorite experiences during our recent trip to Israel was praying at the Western (Wailing) Wall. It was awesome to be standing among Jewish believer who were fervently praying; some out loud, some crying, some swaying and some were reading holy books. As I laid my hand on the wall and closed my eyes to pray, it felt as if all the world had fallen away. It was just me and the Lord. Tears began to trickle down my cheeks as I gave thanks to the Lord. Then I had a picture of the Lord appear in my head that was like a negative of a photo of a man, but I somehow knew it was Jesus.      This trip to Israel took me to places where Jesus lived, worked, prayed, taught and ultimately gave His life as a sacrifice for my sins and the sins of the world. I left humbled and insightful. Things that seemed important before this trip don't have the same level of importance anymore. Things that I did not give much attention to prior to visiting Israel now seem...

     It's starting to heat up in Arizona. We had a record high the other day of 111 degrees for a day in May. When I lived in Oregon, I rarely thought about my steering wheel being too hot to handle, but here the joke is you know you live in Arizona when you see someone driving around with oven mitts on and you respond, "Why didn't I think of that?"      Today I broke into the dried Wasabi Peas, dried green peas coated with spicy horseradish-type Wasabi seasoning. I popped one in my mouth and thought, "Yummy!" So then I took a handful and started chewing. The heat of the spice started to burn my sinuses and make my eyes water. Yikes! A little bit goes a long way!      These events made me think about my life and my response when things begin to heat up. Do I just grab on for dear life and get burned trying to ride out the problem? Do I bite off more than I can chew and then cry about it? Yes, sometimes I do both actually. But in those prepa...

     Before we left on our trip a momma bird had decided to build a nest on our decorative shelf by the front door. I'm sure what seemed a good idea at night while no one was coming and going soured once day broke and we began passing by her nest on a regular basis. So she left her nest in fear of intruders and today, sixteen days later, the two little eggs did not smell too good. While standing on a chair to clean off the nest debris and abandoned eggs, I noticed a baby chick huddled behind a pillar on our porch. It chirped several times calling for its momma. My heart hurt for the little fellow who now was sure to die. "Lord, you know I can't leave this be, but my track record with saving these little guys is not great, what should I do?"      I search the yard for empty nests and found none. On my way back inside, I decided to take one more look around and behold a tiny nest was perched inside our Cyprus tree. It looked like a hummingbird nest, and he d...

     Greetings my friends, I'm glad to be back on my blog and pray God is blessing you this day! We had an amazing adventure in Israel the last 10 days, walking the streets and vistas of God's country and people. I'm now working on a photo album of our trip and have been tripped up by the photo processors. Our order of 800 pictures had several poorly processed pictures, many missing from the order and it appeared the nighttime photo technician fell asleep and allowed the prints to drop onto the floor and mingle madly with one another. There is no order to the chaos!      My ever patient husband wandered the house laying out the pictures on any flat surface available, so that we could compare each picture with the order they were taken as per our computer. Really? God knows I have very little patience, He viewed it first hand during an airport meltdown I had on our way back (but that's a story for another day, or never!). But since I have yet to pass the pa...